Kid Stuff

Vocab Growth Spurt

My three year old, today, to her five year old sister:

"You're a woosy pussy and I cry for you".

Fair Trade

My seven year old son traded his lasagne for a full plate of cauliflower. ???

Leaving on a jet plane

My nine year old daughter is jetting off to sunnier pastures all on her lonesome on Thursday morning. She's taking yet another solo international holiday to visit the family in NZ, and I get to wake up really early to drop her off at the airport, sign her over to Qantas staff and then yawn my way through a trip to the park to appease the other three.

You're late, you're late

The five year old has me visiting op-shops and garage sales to secure approximately 30 tea cups and saucers, because she's got too many friends coming to her birthday Mad Hatter / Alice in Wonderland style tea party. Little Miss Friggen Popular.

All bourbon and no dinner makes Cookie a fun girl

So I was decorating for my eldest's 10 year old birthday party. She's as much of a girly girl as you could possibly imagine and by the time I was half way done it looked like a pre-pubescent pop star had drunk too many slurpies and vomited up pink and flowery shit all over the place.

This was troubling on many levels, so the only obvious solution was to crack open the white labeled problem fixer and stand back to assess.

After assessing for a good half bottle or so, the place actually started to make sense. The pink was speaking to me in a way that it hadn't before. The Disney pop music sing along karaoke and manicure/pedicure chairs were working. The brightly coloured orbs hanging from the ceiling, the fluffy ball things in the vase. Maybe I was a girly girl at heart too!

I started to get into the swing of things; a sip for me, a swirl here, a swig for me and a heart shape there.

By the time that bottle was down to droplets I was sparkling it up with the best of them.

Didn't feel quite as sparkly this morning but the kid is happy with the decorations.

End.