Time to get back on the horse

Our youngest kid, Mischief, is now happily at school.

This means Mama Cookie finally has some days to herself after years of changing arses, singing offtune, making up condensed versions of books whilst reading aloud, and picking playdough out of the rug.

This means looking for a job outside the house. With actual pay!! How exciting.

Apparently 9 years out of the work force may be too much for some peeps to take a gamble on me, even though it's not like I have been sitting around smoking reefers and eating hash cookies ALL this time.  

So I have started coming up with something to pad out the ol' CV to cover the last 9 years MIA in the paid employment arena. So far I have come up with:

* Has watched every show of Oprah's final season. Hoooooo'ooooooooo.

* Can come up with a small limerick or rhyme to go with almost any situation.

"What's that smell in the bedroom?
 What's that smell under the bed?
Is it a pair of dirty undies?
or is it rotting fruit instead?!'

* You can throw me in any high pressure situation and I'll multi-task (read halfarse) my way through it, come out the other end with a slight twitch, throw back a bottle of Beam and get ready for the next one!

That's what you call life skills.  Someone will take on me on and be hugely disappointed, um delighted with their decision.