Gently caress you Mofo

Sometimes all life has to offer you is a big bag of shit. Grab a shovel, spread it out and throw some seeds in it. Let the flowers grow. It takes time, but they will grow.

It's hard to see past that initial pile of shit sometimes.

My niece passed away 2 years ago. She would have turned three 3 weeks ago. My nephew passed away 6 weeks ago, he would now be 7 months old. My nana passed away just after my niece did. I got a phone call a few hours ago saying my cousin lost her 5 week old baby this morning.

I lost my friend when my niece went. My brother's wife. She was a really, really good friend to me. When her daughter went, me having four kids who were healthy was too much. This sucks. I understand in a way. Not completely, nor do I ever want to. We no longer speak. When her son was diagnosed was the final straw for her.

I am now there 100% for my brother, which is good. He needs it. I should have been more about him in the first place, but women wear their emotions on their sleeve more, so tend to look like they need more help. He needs it too. I take comfort in all the shit that has happened that we are now more emotionally tied than before. I hope he bears up okay.

My heart goes out to my cousin, and I hope that she keeps herself strong. I hope her other children can rely on her. I hope she has someone close to reach out to. I hope this never happens to our family ever again.

Somehow, some way, flowers will grow from this.